To my teenager11:55 PM
I write this with a bit of sadness. It's almost midnight and I'm alone because you are already in your dorm and Daddy's at work. It's during times like this that I get melancholic and think about the times that have gone by.
Last year, when you turned thirteen and started living away from us during the school days, I struggled with identity crisis. I felt that I did not know myself anymore. It's hard to accept that you need less of me because you've grown up. It's hard to adjust because I was used to caring for you and Daddy. You were my bosses. I served and cared for you both ever since fate willed us to become a family. So, I guess, it was natural to feel lost.
I did not blog for a long time. I felt I wasn't the right fit for the blog anymore. How can I be the 24-hour mommy I knew I once was when I'm not caring for a child anymore? What's there to write when you're so far away? What's there to share when I have more alone time now. Funny, when you were little and always tagging along, I would pray to the heavens to give me at least 5 minutes of alone time. Now, I'll take all those prayers back and wish for at least 5 minutes of hugs from you.
I miss you so bad my teddy bear. But God is slowly taking my sadness away. I know that's why I get all these responsibilities for our prayer community so I can begin to miss you less. I know that's the reason why I got this business in the province so I can start to reinvent myself. And there's also Daddy to kiss my blues away.
Still, Anak, I pray that you miss me and text me even just once in a while. Reserve some of your thoughts for me so we can talk about it over the weekend that you're home. Play the piano for me again and I promise I'll learn your band's repertoire so I can sing along. I'll be in my best behavior and resist the urge to squeeze your cheeks.
I love you. Even when you think I don't. To the moon and back.
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