To my teenager


I write this with a bit of sadness. It's almost midnight and I'm alone because you are already in your dorm and Daddy's at work. It's during times like this that I get melancholic and think about the times that have gone by.

Last year, when you turned thirteen and started living away from us during the school days, I struggled with identity crisis. I felt that I did not know myself anymore. It's hard to accept that you need less of me because you've grown up. It's hard to adjust because I was used to caring for you and Daddy. You were my bosses. I served and cared for you both ever since fate willed us to become a family. So, I guess, it was natural to feel lost.

I did not blog for a long time. I felt I wasn't the right fit for the blog anymore. How can I be the 24-hour mommy I knew I once was when I'm not caring for a child anymore? What's there to write when you're so far away? What's there to share when I have more alone time now. Funny, when you were little and always tagging along, I would pray to the heavens to give me at least 5 minutes of alone time. Now, I'll take all those prayers back and wish for at least 5 minutes of hugs from you.


I miss you so bad my teddy bear. But God is slowly taking my sadness away. I know that's why I get all these responsibilities for our prayer community so I can begin to miss you less. I know that's the reason why I got this business in the province so I can start to reinvent myself. And there's also Daddy to kiss my blues away.

Still, Anak, I pray that you miss me and text me even just once in a while. Reserve some of your thoughts for me so we can talk about it over the weekend that you're home. Play the piano for me again and I promise I'll learn your band's repertoire so I can sing along. I'll be in my best behavior and resist the urge to squeeze your cheeks.

I love you. Even when you think I don't. To the moon and back.


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11 comments :

  1. I guess it happens to everyone when we experience writer's block, especially if we have day jobs or other things that keep us busy. :D

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  2. I went through a similar period when I lost my father. Nothing could get me out of that funky feeling. Time eventually healed the wounds.

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  3. I have a full time job for 6 months now and my number one enemy is not procrastination anymore, it's either not having time to write or I'm too tired to think.


    I'm sorry for your lost.

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  4. Almost every blogger do go through such hard times I think..but good to know you're finally back again.

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  5. I am sorry for your loss. I definitely am. and yeyyyy...welcome back!

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  6. It's really great to provide service to the church. At one point in my life, I have also thought of doing that and breaking off from my professional career. Being a photographer for them really counts. I'm happy for you.

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  7. Condolence on losing your Dad. It's good to take a break from blogging from time to time since we really need to spend more time with our offline life.

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  8. And as the Bible say, the Lord will always provide. :)
    Sometimes I also feel like not writing anything at all. However, I cant help but to keep enticed with the food events! lol.

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  9. you have been through so much with the loss of your father, must be the reason why your muse flew off to a faraway land. but, yes, it is just a phase, and know that your dad is so much happier now to see that you are getting back on track! we missed you here + we are glad that you're finally back, i would love to read all about your bicol adventure! :)

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  10. Sorry to hear about your loss. It's great that your active in church, this way you can reflect on your life and you're being close to God.

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  11. I am so glad you're blogging again, Mauie! Welcome Back. We missed you in the blogosphere. I can't wait to read about your adventures these past few months.

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